I did a question for history wrongly. And feel wretched about it. The more I thought about it the worse I felt. Because that was simply too great a mistake to make. The thought of me not getting an A for history brings me to tears. I never knew I would love history so much. But why else would I take History S when I always thought that in JC I would do Lit S or something else. Maybe even Econs. Ha. But truly, History is MY beloved.

So I simply dissolved into tears when I came home. Courtesy of mum's comment about how I should have expected the standard to be the same as VJ or something crappy like how my future depends entirely on this exam. I refuse to talk to her anymore because of her insensitivity. I never expected History to be easier so I don't know where that comment of hers came from and thanks for making me feel worse. It seems so matter of fact when I said I cried. But there was nothing matter of fact about me sobbing my eyes out in a dark room where nothing else seemed to matter but my history. I can't help it because now I can't be sure of an A. And I want that A badly. Because I love history and I deserve to do well considering it's the one subject that I've been consistently studying for. Seems so strange to say that but wonder of wonders, it's true. I mean, look, Sonya even gave me a history book for my birthday! (Which I love lots because now I can tell you facts about weird things you never thought you wanted to know)